Trip report: Nigeria
Visited in January 2018
As I already have mentioned in previous articles, West Africa has the reputation of being the hardest part in the world to travel. This part of the world is dangerous, infrastructure is poor, corruption is omnipresent and it’s a malaria high risk area.
When I was planning my first West Africa trip, I wanted to start in more or less easy destinations and finish the journey with a challenge. Côte d’Ivoire and Togo were chosen as the first two countries, but I also had to choose a third and difficult one. I have been to Iraq and Somalia in 2017, but both destinations were easy work, as I picked the safest parts of the countries for the visit. Time had come for something more difficult.
Lagos, a city with questionable reputation, seemed to be a perfect challenge as the end of that trip. I have heard several of stories about Nigeria’s economical capital before and people mostly speak about Lagos with a mixture of disgust and fear. Needless to say that this made this city intriguing to me.
Prologue – getting the visa
Getting the visa for Nigeria turned out to be the funniest part of the story. It was the first time that I actually had to go to an embassy for a personal interview. Fortunately, I can work remotely and I did not have to take a day off to visit the Nigerian embassy in Bern.
The visa process already started complicated. You have to fill out a form online, make the payment and contact the embassy in your country afterwards to get an appointment for the interview. A website lists all document you have to bring with you, but the bad thing is that the list of these documents is not very clear. I have never heard about some of the required documents. Therefore, I called the embassy just to make sure that I would bring the right paperwork…
I called the embassy seven times without anyone answering the phone. Finally, when I called the 8th time a lovely lady answered. After asking two or three questions about the documents, I got the date for the interview. I had one last question, but I didn’t get a chance to ask…
Nigerian embassy lady: “Listen, I have no more time, I need to go now! My boss is calling me!”
Me: “Hum, okay… can I have your name? Just in case I have further questions.”
Nigerian embassy lady: “You don’t need my name!!! Come to the embassy in two weeks!!!”
How charming. Two weeks later, I was sitting in the waiting room of the embassy with ten other people. It was a small room with no windows but a picture of Nigeria’s president and the country flag on the wall. After one hour, a employee of the embassy entered the room and turned on a Nigerian news show on television. Nobody seemed to be thrilled about having that kind of entertainment though.
I waited almost two and a half hours until the visa officer took me into his tiny office. He asked me about the purpose of the visit and so on. Suddenly, things started to get funny. When I told him that I would visit Lagos, he asked me to write down the number of his son, who works as an Uber driver in Lagos. But that wasn’t enough for him, he immediately wanted to speak to his son and called his number. When his son answered the phone, the visa officer told him that I would travel to Lagos and ordered him to pick me up at the airport.
Without asking me the visa officer gave me the cell phone and suddenly I was speaking with his son. This situation was so bizarre, I didn’t even know what to say. I just confirmed the dates and returned the phone to the visa officer. It was hilarious but also a very kind gesture of the guy. Spoiler alert: I didn’t call the son when I arrived in Lagos, but I was considering it.
Right after the phone call, he wanted to take a picture with his cell phone of him and me in order to “send it to his family in Nigeria”. After taking a few pictures, I humbly asked if I could take one with my mobile phone too. He accepted. My visa was granted and I left the embassy almost three hours after my arrival.
The worst airport in the world
Lagos is African’s most populous city with 21 million people living there. The city used to be one of the most dangerous in the world, but apparently things improved in recent years. Still, many scammers and criminals wait for their prey at Murtala Mohammed International Airport. It’s a similar picture that you see at other airports scammers trying to take advantage of clueless people. However, the outcome might be much worse in Nigeria if you fall victim to them, especially to the people waiting outside of the terminal.
I remembered the story of a gentleman from Cameroon who told me that the Nigerian customs officer didn’t let him in until he gave him a “gift” (=20 Dollars). Moreover, I’ve read stories online about officials trying to get money from people who arrive at the airport. I was wondering if the same thing was going to happen to me. Procedures at the customs were chaotic and highly inefficient, but I didn’t experience any kind of corruption in the end. Nevertheless, I was surprised about the terrible standard of the airport. We’re still talking about the major airport of Africa’s biggest economy and most-populated city.
The Swiss Federal Department of Foreign Affairs (EDA) suggests taking special precaution when traveling to Lagos. One thing they advise is asking the man who is holding the sign with your name at the airport about his name. If he doesn’t confirm the name the hotel gave you beforehand, it’s most probably a person with bad intentions. It can happen that a criminal copies the name sign of the driver waiting outside, while waiting inside the airport for the arriving guest. As a consequence, the victims who follow these people get kidnapped.
Fortunately, the man holding the sign with my name confirmed the name the hotel gave me and I arrived at my hotel 30 minutes later. My hotel was located in Victoria Island, the business district of the city and probably the safest area in Lagos. However, when I arrived I noticed that the surroundings of the hotel looked filthy and dodgy. The hotel was 4 star and it looked nice at first glance. My room was very spacious, but I found out later that things like the shower head, the telephone or the safe didn’t work properly. It was still better than what my colleagues told me about the hotels they had in Lagos. They stayed in a 5 star hotel and brown water was running out the tap and the shower. That was more than 10 years ago though.
First uncomfortable situation in Nigeria
It was around 9 PM when I finished my meal at the hotel’s restaurant. As I didn’t have any cash, I asked the receptionist about the nearest ATM. He told me that there would be one just around the corner. When I asked him whether the area was safe or not he assured that walking to the ATM wouldn’t be a problem.
I left the hotel and noticed a group of approximately 15 young men standing at the corner. As soon as I had passed, one of the guys followed me. I exchanged a few words with him and continued walking, but he didn’t stop following me. He repeatedly said “be careful here!” in a threatening tone. I got nervous and when I entered the bank, I immediately put my cell phone into my underwear. The guy followed me again when I walked back to the hotel. These five minutes were stressing and I understood that walking alone through the streets in Lagos – especially at night – is not the best idea.
Back in the hotel, I went to the bar and ordered a drink whilst sharing that experience with my friends in Switzerland. I ordered two more and when I paid the bill the barkeeper told me that I just spent half of his monthly salary on booze ($45). Unemployment is ridiculously high in Nigeria and many people earn less than minimum wage ($80).
When everybody asks for a bribe…
I didn’t choose a hotel in Victoria Island for safety reasons only. Most of the nightlife takes part in VI and as I was in Lagos on a weekend, I wanted to be close to the action. In Nigeria, you don’t take taxis, as entering a random car is simply to dangerous. Uber is king for foreigners. That’s why I took an Uber from my hotel to Spice Route, a popular nightclub in Lagos.
When I arrived at the door, the bouncer shook my hand. I could feel a banknote in his hand, so he wanted me to understand that I should greet him like that. I put 500 Naira ($1.50) in my hand and shook his hand again. Unfortunately, the other two bouncer said “me too!” and I paid the “entrance fee” three times. This is something I experienced a lot in Lagos. They have kind of a strange tipping culture. Everyone wants a tip from you even for the most absurd things.
Spice Route is a good club and – to my surprise – nightlife in Nigeria is way more civilized than in other African countries, where almost all females you meet at night are prostitutes. I was not approached once in Nigeria when I was in a bar or a nightclub, neither by men nor by women. That’s something that hasn’t happened to me in sub-Saharan Africa yet. When I left the club, the bouncers asked for a “tip” again but I refused. I headed to a bar called Troy and spent another hour in there.
I have seen white people in bars or nightclubs only but never on the streets. Maybe because these places were the ones I felt the safest and other white people must have felt the same. Atmosphere in bars was good and the locals (obviously the rich people of Lagos) were less aggressive than the people on the streets. Moreover, Nigerians know how to party, you can’t deny that.
When I was sitting in an Uber and heading back to the hotel, the car was stopped at a police checkpoint. A police officer came close, knocked at my window saying “money! Money!” He didn’t even try to find some mistake I made, he asked straight for a bribe. I gave him 500 Naira and we could pass afterwards. “You don’t have to give him money!” the Uber driver said. Well, I was a newbie in Nigeria and didn’t know that this bribe was optional.
Many homeless people were sleeping in front of my hotel. One of them yelled “hey my n*****!” when I got out of the car. This area was everything but safe. I entered the hotel and was back in my comfort zone.
Sightseeing in Lagos
The next day, I wanted to see Lagos. I texted Charles, who picked me up from the airport, and asked if he could show me around. We agreed on NAN 12’000 for his service the afternoon.
To come straight to the point: Lagos is not a city for sightseeing. First, there are almost no sights, landmarks, attractions… Charles pointed at several hotels and malls whilst driving through the city, as these kind of buildings were in his opinion the attractions of Lagos. Second, Lagos is huge and not a pedestrian-friendly city. And infrastructure really sucks. There are too many cars in the city and we were stuck in a traffic jam for almost two hours (read: City Rating: Lagos).
Nevertheless, I got a good impression of the city. As I mentioned, Lagos is gigantic but also ugly. Pollution is heavy and the streets are dirty. People approach the cars that are stuck in traffic jam trying to sell stuff or just begging. It reminded me of an Indian city sometimes. Indian cities are safe at least. When we were driving through residential areas I noticed that all the houses were heavily protected by walls with barbed wire on top.
The last thing we did was visiting the Idumota Market in Lagos Island. I took a few pictures from the car, but as I haven’t taken any good pictures, I wanted to take one from a bridge. Charles told me that he couldn’t park the car, but we were stuck in traffic jam anyway, so he said I should go by myself.
I left my wallet in the car, as I knew that Charles was working for my hotel and he couldn’t escape anyway in the traffic jam. I quickly walked through all the people up to the bridge, and I was nervous to be alone in the middle of the people. After taking a few pictures, I was trying to return to the car. However, a man apparently noticed that I was taking pictures and he didn’t like it.
“Why are you taking pictures here?!” he said very aggressively. I have read online that taking pictures is frowned upon in Lagos and the locals sometimes even attack people who are doing it. This man was approximately 50 years old and I didn’t want to have a discussion with him so that I just continued walking towards Charles’ car.
The man pushed my shoulder from behind “HEY! Why are you walking away, I’m talking to you!!” Before I could answer him, two young guys approached me: “Where are you going?!” It was like running the gauntlet. “I have an appointment!” I stuttered and walked away. A few seconds later, I was back in Charles’ car.
I went out again that night. It was a less eventful night than the one before and I felt tired anyway. The only notable situation was when an Uber was taking me back to the hotel. We just crossed a corner and suddenly a head showed up at my window shouting something. He came out of nowhere and I felt like in a post-apocalyptic horror movie, when a zombie ambushes his prey.
Nigeria – a country that will never see me again
I have to admit that Lagos was hard work even for a seasoned traveler like me. Precaution is necessary or things can end up badly otherwise. There is actually no reason for visiting Lagos unless you’re collecting countries or have a similar silly hobby. Nevertheless, I strongly believe that there are easier cities than Lagos in Nigeria – the capital Abuja for example. But I’m not complaining. I wanted to have a challenge and Lagos delivered. It made me a bit more humble too, as Lagos was the first city where I really felt uncomfortable.
To summarize, the trip to Nigeria was like running the gauntlet. It started when I left the airport and ended when I was sitting in the plane. Not when I passed security at the airport but when I was literally sitting in the plane! A lot of Nigerians tried to get another tip out of me even after security control (an area you usually feel safe). That time I just told them to fuck off. Even in the plane some minor incidents happened like people yelling at each other. Or a man walking through the plane when the aircraft was taking off. Nigeria is just crazy.
The key to survive is actually quite simple in Lagos: never be without a local outside of your hotel (or a protected area like a restaurant or a bar). It’s just nuts. Both times, when I was walking through the streets just by myself, gave me an unpleasant experience. Charles, who was driving me a few times, said that one needs time to understand how the “psychology” of the city works. He’s probably right.
The locals (in the hotel or in a bar) often asked me if I was enjoying Lagos. Sometimes, I admitted that I was having a hard time and sometimes I just said yes. For the locals, Lagos is an awesome city, which offers anything you need. For me, it was a huge hellhole and the worst place I have ever been to.
Find the travel reports of the other countries I’ve visited here!
